Boundaries are NOT Walls
In this week’s blog we talk about 3 kinds of boundaries that aren’t often talked about:
- – Responsive Boundaries
- – Proactive Boundaries
- – Energetic Boundaries
Oftentimes when we talk about boundaries, we talk about stopping things from happening and saying No. We call that a “Responsive Boundary”.
A responsive boundary is like a guard or bouncer. If someone wants in, you can decide what you are or not ok with in that situation. These boundaries often happen in the moment and on a case by case basis.
If we ONLY have responsive boundaries, then we will feel like we are always making new decisions about what is ok and what is not ok, which can lead to a lot of burnout and decision fatigue.
There are 2 other kinds of boundaries that we don’t talk about as much..
PROACTIVE BOUNDARIES & ENERGETIC BOUNDARIES
Proactive Boundaries are like a fence. It’s what we create beforehand to make sure we have safeguarded our resources (time, energy, money). For example: “I am available for a phone call for only 20 minutes.”
Energetic Boundaries: This one is a little trickier. This has to do with our relational boundaries and what kind of energy we experience around us.
If you have weak energetic boundaries then you may feel like you “take on” other people’s energy. As a result you may even try to control other’s behavior so you can be “ok.” Or perhaps your attention always going outwards? Or you may feel like you don’t have any control over how we are impacted by others.
As leaders, it’s important to do an inventory of where the gaps in your boundaries may be.
Here are 5 questions you can ask yourself:
1) When I look at my calendar, do I schedule time for all of the things that are most important to me (including self-care)?2) Do I blame other people for overstepping boundaries?
3) Do I find myself calling other people “too needy?”
4) Do I feel I have a choice how I am impacted by others?
5) Do I consistently set boundaries before agreeing to share my time, energy and expertise?
In order to show up fully, powerfully, and authentically as a leader, strong boundaries are essential ..
This is a sneak peek of some of the course materials in our “Badass Boundaries for Leaders” with Laura Tatar starting soon! (The Early Bird ends this weekend) You’ll have the chance to practice embodying these boundaries LIVE in class so that they can start to become second nature to you.
To learn more and register visit: