Dignity & Humility

In this video, Peter describes the energetic approaches of Dignity and Humility.

We’ll put these terms on the spectrum from Posture <—> Collapse

On the side of Posture, we have a stance that is aggressive and protective, a state of being “puffed up” and operating from our ego. On the side of Collapse, we are small, in a state of low confidence and the energy of shame, self-blame, victimhood, or giving up. These two sides of the spectrum are really difficult to be with:

  • Posture is intense attention out. “Do what I say!” Intimidation. Cut off from emotion and really “being with’ in lieu of a sense of confidence and power.
  • Collapse is intense attention in. We have abandoned the other person: there is no space for the other person’s experience when we are in a state of collapse.

These two ends of the spectrum are not useful ways of being with someone who is triggered. In the middle ground, on the side of Posture, we have Dignity.

The stance of Dignity is chest open, but not puffed up, in self confidence and self respect. We can set boundaries from this place. We can say “I hear you, but I’m still choosing to do it this way.” Our attention is still out, but there’s room for the other person’s experience. This is the right space to be in when there’s a lot of hostile or upset energy coming at us. We hold ourselves up. 

Towards the center of the spectrum, over towards the side of Collapse, is Humility. The stance of Humility is a fully soft chest, and hands open. An easeful gaze. We are able to receive feedback from this place. To admit that we made a mistake. A gentle attention in: to receive others, and be transparent. 

Humility is a beautiful stance from which a lot of the UnTriggered methodology thrives.

Homework: See if you can practice Humility and Dignity in your posture and your being. Look for these energies (or lack thereof!) in your exercises with your partner. Note what you find!

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